Never Known to Make A Foolish Move-Bob Dylan and The Art of Idol Smashing
This is what the Lord says: “ What fault did your ancestors find in me, that they strayed so far from me? They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves.” -Jeremiah 2:5
..and there was no man around
Who could track or chain him down.
He was never known to make a foolish move. John Wesley Harding / Bob Dylan-1967
Part One: Introductory Idol Smashing and Death by Autopen
Bob Dylan, using his pretty great sense of humor, just publicly- and I will argue, deliberately-just incited a digital mob to smash the very last false idol they had made of him. Perhaps you could've called that idol: “The Golden Calf of Legendary Progressive Musical Integrity”, or something like that. He accomplished this task in a matter of days with a rather absurd “signature scandal”, where offended patrons were said to have been robbed with over-priced phony autographs. Upon close inspection, however, I think it's clear this “auto-gate” was neither an accident or a “moral lapse”. It bears many tell-tale signs of a well-timed practical joke, signs I will address in part six of this essay. If you are interested only in that, you can skim down to it. But I doubt it will make as much sense as if you read my entire piece.
If for some reason, you are unaware of the dubious autopen “scandal” to which I refer, let me summarize the salacious “facts” as much as I know: Sometime in the autumn of 2022, advertisements for autographed copies of Dylan's latest book, “Philosophy of Modern Song” began appearing. The price was 600 dollars. Within a few weeks of the book's distribution, social media posts appeared which compared various signatures on different books. It was clear these signatures were identical, and had been produced en masse with what is called an “autopen”, an invention that hilariously does exactly what it promises. After this “discovery” became public, Mr. Dylan quickly issued an apology, promised to make things right with those who had paid the money, and stated at least three reasons for his apparent lapse in judgment. To paraphrase, these reasons were:
The pandemic made the collective effort which goes into book signings impractical. Signing books was difficult due to a condition of “vertigo” He had been assured “ That this sort of thing was common in the world of art and literature”
Of course, “autogate” has had the usual consequences of a practical joke, such as the predictable “outrage” of the unfortunate victims, who trotted out their wounded egos with much fanfare on social media. They have been emotionally supported in this spectacle by the brave pundits of major and minor “news” outlets who sympathize ( with all due sincerity, no doubt) with their plight. The outrage has certainly gone viral! One Internet News Outlet sums it up well as it actually screams in its headline: “The Bob Dylan signature scandal could destroy his legacy for ever” ( someone called Liz something or other wrote that at something or other dot com )
Please, lady. It's not like he ran over your dog. I mean no offense to these outraged souls, but I certainly hope I can still think its funny that Bob Dylan fooled you out of 600 bucks, which you obviously didn't need that bad or you wouldn't have spent it on a frickin' signature. Obviously you will get your money back. ( One of the ironies: with apparently only 900 “signed copies”, the forgeries might actually be worth more soon than a real signature, but that's another story, another irony, another joke).
I wish to offer another take on this situation. Though I can't speak definitively of Bob Dylan's motives, it seems likely he genuinely felt he had to do this, and certainly not for for the money. I'll get to that too. Maybe it sounds silly or crazy, but I believe we have just witnessed a public sacrifice of sorts. It is a sacrifice wrapped in satire, and likely an effective destruction of an image ( another name for idol). I believe Dylan decided that idol needed to die.
I am not sure why I feel the urge to address my reasons for believing this, but I do, and I hope that you might entertain my reasoning. There are some people who need to consider this. Not all people.
I will argue later in this essay that this “scandal” was almost certainly engineered and designed to be discovered. Mr. Dylan has plenty of good reasons to do this, which those who have followed his career and faith might sympathize with. Not only do I believe this “scandal” was meant to come to light, but even the fact that the scandal itself was phony was supposed to come to light. This “ruse within a ruse within a ruse” is the part that could make one's head spin. I do not expect him to ever address any of it ever again.
“The hour is getting late”. ( All Along the Watchtower-Dylan 1967)
I owe a tremendous debt to the music of Bob Dylan. It has helped me get through life. However, I am not one of the people that pour over every bootleg and alternate take, and his biography and personal life don't matter to me at all. I have, though, defended his persona publicly before on one occasion, when the demonic youtube: “Bob Dylan Sold his Soul to the Devil” campaign was in its prime. ( See “Deals with a Digital Devil: Why the Astonishing False Witness Campaign Against Bob Dylan Should Matter to us All” -2015, hopefully reappearing on this blog soon)
There are three levels to any public artist. One is his private life; which I do not concern myself with. The second is his work, which usually speaks for itself, but can be legitimately examined critically. The third level is the persona of the artist. That is the identity which delivers the work. That persona is a necessary public construct and can thus be fair game for comment or defense or criticism if it truly deserves it. I'll let you know right now that I see no good reason for criticizing even the persona of Bob Dylan, much less his person or his work. I don't say this because he's perfect, but because he has been consistent in doing us a favor by encouraging people to smash idols that have been foolishly made of him. Idols separate listeners from art, and people from God. Neither am I going to interpret his lyrics. I don't do that sort of thing out loud.
First though, about the larger situation at hand: What is the point after all, of addressing anything these days, much less Bob Dylan? Conversation has been relegated to an obscene end times cyber-arena. Virtual trolls wait with vile comments to attack even the meekest of ideas. Our discourse is at the mercy of unseen digital demons. These same demons and trolls have lodged themselves in our own minds—threatening to “comment” on us at every step- as we try and summon the strength to stand up for anything or anyone. Free speech is dead. The panopticon is built. The beast has assumed the reins of the network and seeks the soul itself. Human spirit and consciousness is being poisoned and destroyed by digital deception, delusion and debauchery. LOL. It's just like the Bible said it is—just like it said it would be. Don't want to hear about the Bible when someone talks about Dylan? That's odd, you know he's been singing about the Bible for 60 years.
Using Dylan's words out of a different context, the network clearly:
“neither honors nor forgives” ( "I and I”-Dylan /1983) .
With more than a little trepidation, therefore, I step into that same digital arena to speak a word in regards to my favorite songwriter, Mr. Bob Dylan. I'm no gladiator, by any means, just a guitar picker. I'm certainly no music critic, either. Lately I've concentrated my creative efforts on the mapping of historical solar eclipses and their cosmic cycles. That is why this essay appears on an eclipse blog. I come neither to praise Mr. Dylan or to bury him. I don't imagine he will ever read this, and it's not written to him. If I could speak to him, I'd likely just thank him for his music and maybe get his thoughts on some eclipses. A game of chess? That might be fun. It seems unlikely I will ever get that opportunity and I am okay with that. We both have busy schedules. May God bless him and his work.
There is only one reason this “scandal” is important. Bob Dylan is the last living maximum expression of the age of America's Maximum Expression.
Part Two- Maximum Expression and Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan's actual stature in cultural history is clearly significant and should be assessed before his “legacy” is considered in the wake of autogate. He has had nearly every superlative in the book thrown at him. He is one of the most controversial artists in history. He is also one of the most intensely disliked by some:...”I can't stand his voice....His songs don't make any sense.”
Like the elusive character of his music itself, few seem able to really enunciate the essence of his contribution. I certainly can't. But it seems true that he has maintained an unusual humility, given all the hoopla. I don't want to laud him. But I do believe it's appropriate to consider his standing among modern cultural figures.
Maximum Expression is a term I use for my work with history and eclipses. Eclipses and eclipse cycles have maximum expressions, which I won't go into now. But that same principle of maximum expression applies universally. Individuals (both animal and human) attain maximum expression ( greatest expression of force, maximum growth) within lifespans, within species, within generations. Cultures achieve them. Talents attain them. Maximum expression is my attempt with words to describe a fundamental reality of God's creation that otherwise eludes words. Clearly, some expressions are more maximum than others. Artists attain maximum expression, and artistic movements can attain them as well. The reason I love the term maximum expression is that pretty much every one understands it without having to go on about it very long. It defines itself. Maybe your cat is a maximum expression of “catness”. Maybe it's a moment of your life where you felt it.
There was a brief period of time where American Culture attained a unique kind of worldwide supremacy. It achieved its Maximum Expression, and it did so with a great level of honesty and with tremendous impact. Maximum Expression of American Culture occurred roughly between 1947 and 1980. This cultural explosion is one of the main reasons English is spoken in so many places, and why the musical form of Rock and Roll was adopted worldwide.
During this time, corporate forces ( record labels and radio) encouraged creativity, and allowed music a largely free rein of artistry. They did so not out of benevolence but because it made the corporations money. Other cultural forces also loosened up at this time and certain manifestations of honesty became celebrated. Simultaneously, two benevolent technologies ( radio and phonograph) allowed for a great cross-pollination of musical ideas. Radio and phonograph technology also had their maximum expression during this time. Radio had its greatest reach and impact and the phonograph allowed for the creation of the music's most dignified creative recording format, the Long-Playing record.
During the mid-seventies, this window was rapidly closed by powerful forces for powerful reasons. In the mid to late seventies, Corporations decided they could make plenty of money telling artists what to play, and us what to listen to. They began dictating much of our popular musical art, with a few notable exceptions. Also, by 1980, video began to change how people related to music.
By 1979, media control of story had become the dominant story of culture. For my eclipse readers, I would suggest that the 2-26-1979 Microsoft/ Mount Saint Helen's Seattle Eclipse is a likely cosmic marker of that profound cultural shift ( Rod Stewart's “Do Ya' Think I'm Sexy?” was the number one songs at the time-ho, ho, ho). In the 1980's to the present, with the advent of the music video and the computer network, popular music began its awful descent into the arms of the great machine. Dylan's Slow Train Coming album is possibly a cultural marker of that shift, released in August, 1979. I would say Mount Saint Helen's eruption and John Lennon's murder in 1980 cemented the tombstone of that unique 33 year period.
“Don't care about economy. Don't care about astronomy. But its sure bothers me to see my loved ones turning into puppets”
Slow Train Coming/Bob Dylan 1979
Other cultural, religious and political movements also clearly showed maximum expression during the 1947 to 1980 time frame. Civil rights, women's rights, back to nature movements and environmental consciousness, poetry, the Jesus Movement, mass musical gatherings, anti-war and anti-corruption efforts and others. It was a tremendous messy moment. It was a Maximum Expression.
Again, everyone has their maximum expression. What's yours?
Here is a round-up of certain American Maximum Expressions ( focused mostly on performers), as acknowledged by their worldwide fame, influence and good reputation. I consider a “finished expression” as a unique example of growth and proper co-operation with the Holy Spirit which allowed for the resolution of their expression without public display of decay. This is a sample of a broad list, which I then narrow down...there are many people who could be on a broad list...
The List of Truly Massive Widely Known Maximum Expressions—finished and unfinished:
Hank Williams ( Finished expression) Died 1953 Chuck Berry ( unfinished expression) career largely ruined by a prison sentence. Elvis, Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe ( unfinished expressions ruined by prison of fame) Johnny Cash ( Finished Expression) Billy Graham ( Finished expression) John F. Kennedy (Finished expression-martyred) Martin Luther King ( Finished Expression-martyred) Die Young Club --Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Buddy Holly, James Dean, Patsy Cline, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding etc.—all unfinished expressions –all almost maximum-each for different reasons. The Beatles ( A finished expression as collective creative unit) Robert Kennedy. Malcolm X ( martyred unfinished expressions) Bob Dylan ( Finished expression)
There are many personalities here ( including the only group personality—the Beatles).
What do I consider a finished maximum expression? 1.They fully stated and finished what they needed to say. 2.What they said was truly original and expressed characteristics the Creator sought to express ( like truth, bravery, love, sacrifice, essence). 3.The world would not be the same without them. 4. They did not decay in the public eye.
Finished Expressions therefore follows the Biblical pattern set by the finished expressions of Abraham, Moses, King David or Isaiah, the apostles...and, of course, Jesus. They changed the world and got no regrets.
Ruined Expressions or corrupted expressions litter the highways and byways of culture and all our lives. A true Finished Maximum Expression offers an example! The example reminds others that they too can be a maximum expression of themselves if they are brave and humble, seek truth and see their proper place in the scheme of things. Even if they've made mistakes, they can redeem themselves along the way.
“He not busy being born is busy dying” It's Alright Ma—Dylan/ 1965
Many might add different people on their broad list. That's fine. Mine are all American, except the Beatles, who are honorary Americans. I don't include any sports figures even on this introductory list ( I almost put Muhammad Ali), though that would make a nice list for somebody. I don't have Sinatra, only 2 movie stars, and no politicians except the Kennedys. Important! Some don't make the list simply because they are simply not popular enough! That's why there are fewer women, natives etc... The ruined and unfinished expressions are obvious. They were taken by drugs or accidents or greedy handlers or the psychological pressures of fame. Or they were assassinated like RFK or John Lennon when they were yet unfinished.
Maximum Expressions are not afraid of being a public example. They appear in real time before real people (and people in power), expressing their example and exploring the power of expression I don't believe any of them were in it for the money.
I will confidently assert that 1949 to 1979 America became the maximum Expression of modern human culture, and that in that time frame, America provided seven great individual Maximum Expressions. Here then, for your consideration, are the maximum expressions of the Maximum Expression.
Part Three: The Seven Finished Maximum Cultural Expressions of the American Maximum ( 1947-1980)
Hank Williams/ Songwriter ( d.1953) Billy Graham/ Evangelist ( d. 2018) Johnny Cash/ Songwriter ( d. 2003) Martin Luther King/ Preacher and Social Reformer ( d.1968) John F. Kennedy/ President ( d.1963) The Beatles/ Musical Group (d. 1970- yeah I know they are officially from England, but that's unimportant. I'm not making a cake.) Bob Dylan ( still alive) “ I can't remember when I was born and I forgot when I died” --False Prophet, Dylan 2020
The Beatles died as a corporate unit but were still a finished maximum expression. Their solo careers are great and all (and Paul and Ringo still live!) but anyway, the Beatles died and I think this is sort of about right. Again, Dylan is the only one still alive.
“I'm first among equals; Second to none--
The last of the best. You can bury the rest “
Dylan 2020's “False Prophet”.
Dylan has outlived all the other six. Interestingly, he has publicly acknowledged and honored each one of the other members on that special list.
Hank: Dylan was 11 when Hank Williams died, Dylan has spoken glowingly of his influence--“I became aware that in Hank's recorded songs were the archetype rules of poetic songwriting” he has said. (he also famously sings Hank's “I'm so Lonesome I Could Cry” in “Don't Look Back”). Billy Graham: Dylan has praised Reverend Graham, calling him the “greatest evangelist of our time” and said “ he was like rock and roll personified”. Dylan apparently saw at least one of Graham's revivals in person. Graham preached the Gospel in person to an estimated 215 million people, the most in human history. Cash: “In plain terms, Johnny was and is the North Star; you could guide your ship by him — the greatest of the greats then and now.” Dylan said of him. Dylan was good friends with Johnny Cash and recorded with him. Their careers and journeys of faith paralleled each other. King: Dylan appeared as an opener at the age of 22 in 1963 at the March on Washington with Martin Luther King. He mentions King in “Mother of Muses” on 2020's Rough and Rowdy Ways. Check out his performance of “Abraham, Martin and John” with the amazing Clydie King. JFK: Dylan devotes his longest, most daring, and perhaps most blindly misunderstood epic to the murder of JFK and its place in American history in 2020's “Murder Most Foul”. The Beatles: Dylan and the Beatles were linked in real time by mutual respect for each others art. They had a long friendship beginning in 1964. Dylan wrote John Lennon a very good song 20 years after his death, “ Roll on John”, and is friends with all the members of the Beatles.
All seven of these maximum expressions were surprising, smart, honest, daring, iconoclastic, hugely influential personalities. They were also deeply dangerous to “the establishment”, each in very different ways. Most of them survived by finding an interesting balance in their expressions and what would be tolerated by the power stratum that makes the rules. King and JFK were not in a position to perform such balancing acts very long, and were martyred for their work.
“ Maybe they'll get me, and maybe they won't. But not tonight and it won't be here. There's things I could say, but I don't. I know the mercy of God must be near.” Standing in the Doorway --Dylan--1997
Interestingly, of the seven maximum expressions on the list, five of them quite explicitly spoke in the name of Jesus Christ, who remains The Example and Supreme Expression. The other two, JFK and the Beatles, exemplified other aspects of divine creativity ( including the Holy Spirit's tendency towards anonymity as it provides music and sometimes charisma) during their brief tenure as maximum expressions.
There are no women on the list. That says nothing about women, who are awesome and indispensable and we all know have done great and brave things. Huge notoriety just is what it is and chooses who it will.
By 1979, Corporate Reality ( hand in hand with cultural decay) calcified and contaminated the unique creative process which had given birth to the Cultural Explosion of 1949 to 1979. Nearly all decisions about culture began to come from the top down. Dylan's position as relic, like Cash, still allowed him to say what he wanted out of sheer legend status. He has used that position to create masterful pieces of art. Dylan has had the longest career as a maximum expression. With “Murder Most Foul” in 2020, he likely finished his legacy as the bravest and most unique popular culture artist of all time.
I would also dare say that Mr. Dylan is among the most interesting historians in America. He is smart. He is aware of his place in this unique group. That doesn't have anything to do about ego. He would be the last person to call the seven maximum expressions some kind of “pantheon”. Dylan, like all the rest of them, is no saint. These are not gods or idols, but all of them were treated that way at times. We are human, all too human—all of us. We are all Expressions too, certainly. What's your expression?
We are not to have idols. The Bible clearly states this in passage after passage. Idols distance us from Truth and from God. Bob Dylan has had to carefully kill off false idols created by others in his name on several occasions. If you want to get into the Kingdom of Heaven, Jesus told Nicodemus “ A man must be born again” Dylan reiterates that same truth in his 1979 gospel song, “ In the Garden”.
Nevertheless, we can have examples. If Dylan lives by Biblical examples, one of them must surely be David...the Jewish shepherd boy who slays the giant, plays music for the king, is hunted and slandered, who survives to write the songs (psalms) the world will sing. David was very human, deeply flawed and found trouble ( like nearly all the maximum expressions on the list besides Rev. Graham) when it came to loving the ladies.
“There aint no limit to the amount of trouble women bring. Love is teasing, love is pleasing. Love aint no evil thing” Sugar Baby -Dylan/2001
In the next section, I list seven times Dylan appears to have performed the tricky task of being born again after murdering a myth created about him. He performed this difficult without losing his relationship to music.
Part Four: Myth Murders. The Seven Deaths of Bob Dylan:
First Death Jan. 24 1961. Dylan moves to New York. ( for eclipse fans, see Roaring 20's/ NYC/ Dylan Eclipse 1-24-1925) : Born again at 19 years old. Changed his name and his home. Changed his style. Learned a thousand old tunes. Killed the nice American Jewish middle class Boy. Why? I guess he had to. Maybe that wasn't really who he was. A spirit seemed to inform his music. It's notable that his first album had two gospel songs. Nowadays, it seems nearly all his songs say at least something about God. Second Death 1964 : Killed the “famous folksinger/ protest singer/ conscience of his generation guy” by creating some of the greatest Rock music ever. Third Death 1966: Killed off that same Rock Star in a motorcycle accident. Then threw nearly everyone else off his trail with Nashville Skyline and Self-Portrait. Fourth Death 1972: Killed off the country singer and became a master artist of 70's songwriting with Blood on the Tracks/ Desire/ Street Legal. Fifth Death 1978 :The real second death. He publicly buried the old man and let Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit do their work for the rest of his life. This got rid of most of the idol worshipers then and there, and I'm sure freed Mr. Dylan up artistically. He essentially hasn't really left this rebirth. ( Christ is in all Dylan's work, right?), but he did transform once again: Six Death 1983: Dylan quits a Gospel oriented performance style ( at request of Spirit?) and becomes the grand old man of American Song and Story. He becomes a prophet of synthesis, and almost no one understands what that means, even me, but his music gets even better. This nearly 40 year run has been a lot of fun and greatly rewarding for me and so many others. I have needed his music very much and am grateful for it. The last 40 years has produced his greatest live and studio work, in my estimation, and also my kid's favorite Christmas album. Six deaths! Yikes. Seems like plenty. Why would he have to die again? He'd found a healthy spot to do his music. He was clearly popular without being overly fawned over for the most part. He had “the legend” thing going on, which is a good spot for an entertainer, as you know you can at least always get a gig. His art was often little understood and didn't exactly shoot to number one with a bullet, but so what? He'd outlived his contemporaries, always had a killer band and he sang what he wanted to.
Part Five: Isn't Six Deaths Plenty?
Why would he have to die again? We can only take an educated guess.
It has become clear that in the last few years, Bob Dylan has begun to be idolized again. This renewed interest in making false idols of his image is largely a result of the bizarre nature of social media, where everybody just can't help saying everything that comes to their minds. Also, as people confront the psychological pressures of the end times (which he has sung about since he began his career), they have tried to find an honest voice of consolation. Clearly, Bob Dylan would come to mind. Also, his music is not only too good to ignore, but remains some of the best music being made by anyone, anywhere. Sixty years of diverse, fresh and relevant music speaks of a creative resilience quite unique in history.
Then, of course, all the “lifetime achievement hall of fame” kinds of things start pouring in. There was a Nobel Prize and Presidential medals, which so many sneered at, even when his acceptance “speeches” talk about everybody but himself. He is clearly too humble to refuse the honors. Refusal would be taken as another sign of pride. He was put in an impossible position. He was watched like a hawk, or like a vulture, more accurately. The hint of inevitable celebrity death made everyone want to get in on the “Honor Bob Dylan” train before he croaked. Finally, many began the “Dylan is the Messenger of God or Progressive Hero or my Guru” stuff again and began fighting over the nature of his legacy in books and on the internet. Even when he made a point of riffing old songs, telling dirty jokes, crooning Rat Pack oldies and bestowing accolades and airtime on everyone but himself, it wasn't enough anymore to stave off the idol worshipers.
The latest Golden Dylan Calf was being molded at the base of Cyber Sinai. The question became: Who is Going to Smash it? It must be suffocating, don't you think? Even if you have had to get used to it all your life. It must be frustrating. People needed to look up and seek their Maker, not some singer. Dylan was never their Redeemer. He tried to tell us these things. “When you Gonna Wake up” he said. He was just another voice, crying in the wilderness. Like David, Isaiah, like John the Baptist, like Martin Luther King and Hank Williams and Billy Graham and Johnny Cash.
“ Make straight the paths of the Lord” John 1:23
But this joint is all about American Idols.
“One of these days you'll open up your eyes and you'll see where we are” -Sugar Baby-2001 “It's mighty funny, the end of time has just Begun”--Can't Wait-1997
How do you smash a golden calf in front of all those idol worshipers? ? I know one way. Be unmasked as a greedy autograph huckster. Then make them smash it for you. He had to kill off “The Grand Old Legend Man of Progressive Musical Integrity”, and it seems he had to do it in the most truly funny and satirical and informative way he could. It wasn't helping him to have all these thousands of people drooling over his legacy on social media. More importantly, it wasn't helping them. For his sake, and for our sake, I believe Bob Dylan had to encourage a pitchfork waving crowd of binary bozos to kill off his last public identity. I cannot say if this was “intentional” or not, as I don't have a clue where intentions or personality or art or decisions arise from. But I can say it probably had to happen, and I can see why. I might very well have done the same thing if I was in his shoes.
Part Six: The Seventh Death of Bob Dylan
The plot: Brilliant internet sleuths uncover a dastardly fake autograph scheme involving one of the most famous men in the history of the modern world- a so-called “beloved artist” of extraordinary gifts who by current estimates has a net worth of perhaps 500 million dollars. When his treacherous “ruse” is discovered, he issues a brief unsatisfactory apology, claiming it's the result of pandemic protocols, vertigo, and other people's assurances that everyone does it. Few defend him or forgive him. Now, does that make sense? Look down a list of the songs he's written. Does that make sense?
As soon as the ads went out for “autographed” copies of his book, my antennas went up. What could he possibly gain by such a trivial activity involving such a grueling and monotonous labor? A few bucks? ( They should have pitched the ads: “You can still Smell Dylan's suffering sweat dripping on the page as he signs copy after copy after copy hour after hour. C'mon now, make that idol work for it!”).
I don't recall him ever selling autographs before. The first thing that came to my mind ( I'm not sure why) when I saw his autograph for sale was: how can we really know its his autograph? The second thought I had was: If I ever received such a book, I would probably -just out of curiosity of course- want to see other of those autographs side by side. Such curiosity would be expected. Such comparisons are exactly what happened, as they inevitably would- and it all happened quickly too, as things happen these days. The public response to this event is predictable, living as we do in the Final Daze of Perpetual Outrage. The wolves gather. A wounded chorus of howling indignation arises from the digital detritus- hordes of cheated autograph hounds who apparently had 600 extra bucks laying around to buy a piece of the great “Bob Dylan” I won't bother to repeat their various accusations and indignation here.
Just an aside, but if this sort of thing (autopenning) is indeed common, then wasn't Dylan's action of letting himself be convicted of such a fraud actually a gift to the autograph seeking public? Dylan may have just singlehandedly ended the odious practice of mass fake signatures. Are people in the world of art and literature regularly passing off auto-penned signatures as real? If so, that's probably a good thing to know, and all those elite purchasers of elite identity should be grateful to Mr. Dylan for his personal sacrifice. Exactly how else could such a practice have come to light without this “scandal”? How could one bring such an issue to the attention of the public? An autopen whistleblower? If Dylan hadn't sacrificed himself, someone might have to do something ugly-- like personally accusing artists, athletes and musicians publicly. This is just a thought, and perhaps a silly one. I will end that speculation right there, as it is the least relevant of the points I wish to make.
More to the point, I think this scandal, whether consciously or unconsciously, had to happen. Here are the reasons I feel its a joke.
It's too funny not to be a joke. Of all the ways to commit some kind of legacy-murdering “infraction” in this day and age, the selling of phony signatures by one of the most famous men on earth has to be among the most hilarious possible. He's an old man worth half a billion dollars who travels the world working. A few thousand bucks here or there is patently absurd. Do the math. 900 books at 600 each equals 54,000 dollars. That might be a lot for you or me. But Bob Dylan's net worth is estimated at 500 million dollars. 54,000 dollars is 1/100th of one percent of that figure! If I had ten dollars, it would be the same as me losing my reputation over a frickin' penny. He's not stupid. He is in fact one of the most perceptive characters western civilization has produced. He is also a chess player. He has a tremendous sense of humor, story and irony. He also has already seen fit to kill off six prior outwardly imposed public identities. Speaking of absurd, 600 bucks for a signature is absurd. Okay, maybe I'd give 50 if I knew it was real, and on a football or something useful...and if I hadn't already spent it on his whiskey! Final offer! The advertisements were ridiculous. I thought it was an Onion joke when I saw the ads and others surely felt the same way. Something was clearly not right or true about any of it. Mass distribution of phony signatures in a digital age full of digital cameras with instant sharing capability??? Please! Black ink on blank white paper? It's not only asking to be “discovered”, it's demanding it! It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes, either, bro. Of course the signatures are going to be compared. Of course the “great scandal” will break. Dylan's apology has to be among the best satire in recent memory. It's the fault of Covid, he says. He had been assured such a thing is “common” in the art and literary world. That's priceless in and of itself. But the topper... its “vertigo”. I like all of the excuses. They are almost certainly all true and all not true at the same time. The Penmanship of the signatures is a lovely touch. Personally, I don't know any 80 year old man who can write remotely like that after 6o years of Marlboro Reds. Usually its an awful shaky mess, isn't it? I can't imagine Mr. Dylan signed his name so perfectly in all his life, not even on his first record contract. The “auto-pen” in itself is a tremendous metaphor worthy of an essay in itself. Its a metaphor for loss of identity in the relationship between artist and audience, culture and soul. It plays with ideas of originality and art, persistent themes in his creativity. It hints at the destruction of identity through mechanism and repetition. Its uncovers the lie of the idol, and the lie of the idol worshiper. It is the meaning of autograph and autograph hound taken to its satirical limit. The effect of this mythological murder was extraordinary and speaks volumes about society. He didn't have to change musical styles, sell Crack to kids, become a suicide bomber, a political candidate or make any other exhausting transformation to kill off his very last unsought myth. A simple practical joke did the trick, and the un-amusing, un-ironic masses did the murdering for him, all in the name of their phony virtues. They gladly turned on their idol. What a lesson. I think this even goes one step further, but this part is hard to wrap the brain around. Not only do I think the initial “fraud” ( phony signatures) was designed to be easily uncovered. But That the “fraud” was a “fraud” is also meant to be uncovered (as I just did, likely along with others). Thus, even this final fraud ( that it was a fraud wrapped in a fraud) was meant to be uncovered, as I do here, much to my literary and investigative credit, no doubt.
Though I have come to firmly believe this grand hypothesis, I neither expect nor desire him to acknowledge the joke. Why should he? He can if he wants, but he probably finds it funnier and more useful if he doesn't. He owes me or you nothing. He already said he's gonna give everybody their money back. That's enough, isn't it? What do they want, emotional damages? To send him to Guantanamo? The work has been done. The image is smashed, the balloon is popped, the false idol's fallen. The Golden Calf is ground to powder. Mix it in the whiskey and drink it up, boys. Whew!
Have you seen the “fan clubs” on Facebook, where trolls ruthlessly attack his Christian music or spread gossip about him and his family? Have you seen the orchestrated “ Dylan Sold his soul” videos, where carefully edited “60 Minutes” clips are used to claim he serves the devil- in one of the most sinister false witness campaigns ever taken against a public figure? Have you seen. over and over- from the supposedly best music critics in the land, the deliberate misrepresentation of Mr. Dylan and his art?Have you seen the refusal to acknowledge the continued spiritual nature of his songwriting and what that really means? Christian radio refuses to acknowledge their debt. Classic rock radio ignores the greatest songs ever written. No review from any major publication discusses the bravery of “Murder Most Foul”, a piece of historical truth-art unlike any in history-- except to whimper out “conspiracy theory”. Cowards everywhere. Nobody takes a second glance at the hypodermic needle in the skeleton's hand on the art for “False Prophet”.
“ They talk all night, and they talk all day. Not for a second do I believe anything they say”
My Own Version of You-Dylan 2020
Part Seven: In conclusion. A personal note
I was twelve years old when I heard him first. I was growing up in the Ozarks of Eastern Oklahoma, in a family haunted by alcoholism and despair, in a town haunted by the scars of the Trail of Tears. I had been teaching myself guitar and hanging around the local music store a lot, learning from country pickers. I was into music, especially the Beatles, but I hadn't ever heard of Bob Dylan.
It was 1979. The living room was dark except for the TV. I was with my brother and sister and we were watching Saturday Night Live.
“Ladies and gentlemen. Bob Dylan...”
Bob Dylan sang “ Gotta Serve Somebody” to America and to me on live TV. I watched like maybe I had never watched anything before. I remember that moment like it's playing in my mind right now. I looked it up on youtube last year just to see it again and it was the exact same image, and he had the exact same expression. How does that happen? What is a memory and where does it live?
Bob Dylan was singing a song for the Lord on Saturday Night Live. He kept singing it in my mind for 40 years. He's still singing it. I just saw him in Grand Junction last summer and he sang that same same song! Who is this man? What else did he say?
I don't know the personality of Bob Dylan. It's not really my business. I know he had to walk a fine line to do what he's done. I know that his agreement is with the Holy Spirit, the same power by which all great maximum expressions make their agreement to do the will of He who made us. Dylan deserves credit for the strength of the agreement he made, and for his strength of will in continuing in that agreement. I don't know how much he deserves credit for the songs. I don't know how much credit anyone deserves for songs. It seems to me that songs are given by the Spirit. His songs point towards truth, but he is not the truth. Like all maximum expressions, he's still willing to sacrifice so that we will take our eyes off the false idols we've rushed to make, turn our ears towards the music, towards the Creator God who gave us music in the first place. I don't know how much of what he does comes from conscious effort and how much is unconscious. I don't even know that about myself or anyone else.
In my mind, the climax of his last album, “Rough and Rowdy Ways”occurs not in the great last song, Key West, but in the second to last song on the album, “Crossing the Rubicon”. One of my favorite verses:
I feel the holy spirit inside, See the light that freedom gives
I believe it's in the reach of Every man who lives
Keep as far away as possible;
It's darkest 'fore the dawn (Oh Lord)
I turned the key, I broke it off
And I crossed the Rubicon
Bob Dylan—Crossing the Rubicon 2020
Bob Dylan is the last of the best. He's the last one standing of the seven great maximum expressions of America's Maximum Expression. He has been pushed to the limit and still makes the effort to humble himself and to console his friends. I know who he serves. I can see by his fruits that he is a servant of the Lord. He doesn't have to be perfect to be that.
Not everyone who says to me “Lord, Lord” will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, But He who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven.”
Jesus said that ( Matthew 7:21)
“Just as sure as you're living. Just as sure as you're born. Look up, look up. Seek your Maker. 'fore Gabriel blows his horn”
Dylan said that ( Sugar Baby/ 2001) This is a long form text area designed for your content that you can fill up with as many words as your heart desires. You can write articles, long mission statements, company policies, executive profiles, company awards/distinctions, office locations, shareholder reports, whitepapers, media mentions and other pieces of content that don’t fit into a shorter, more succinct space.
Articles – Good topics for articles include anything related to your company – recent changes to operations, the latest company softball game – or the industry you’re in. General business trends (think national and even international) are great article fodder, too.
- Mission statements – You can tell a lot about a company by its mission statement. Don’t have one? Now might be a good time to create one and post it here. A good mission statement tells you what drives a company to doe.
